i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
