why didn't you poke me back
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
