I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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