I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
