So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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