Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
