i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
