I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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