Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
