the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
