some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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