Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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