Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize