Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
