Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
