I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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