Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
