i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
