I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I just put wine in my tea
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize