Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
