just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
