Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
