Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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