these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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