if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
