I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
