so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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