I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
