what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize