It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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