i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize