I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
