You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
