I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
