He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
