Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize