How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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