After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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