Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
