Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
