where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
