so let's talk penis.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The struggles of a small town man whore
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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