this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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