I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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