Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
