Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
