I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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