I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
