Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
