I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
