If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He did a backflip because drugs
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