At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
