We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
