I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
