He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need to align my fucking chakras
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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