if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
