I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
