Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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