you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I AM VODKA MAN
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
