I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
tell me about the eggs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
