called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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